Sunday, March 24, 2013

A Year ago today...

A year ago today I miscarried my first little one.  I know that it was not meant to be, but this does not lessen the pain.  I remember feeling ill as I took the medicine that would cause the miscarriage and wishing time would rewind and stop to the happiest day:  When I saw those 2 little lines.  I thought about how disappointed our friends and family would be.  At the time I was a disaster and I was scared.  Scared that maybe pregnancy would never happen for me.  I know that it is not the final destination, but it was something I so badly wanted to experience.  I try to think back to this point in time to remind myself to be grateful for what I have now.  Trust me as I write this I am remembering just how hard it was to hear "there is no heartbeat".  I am so very grateful for the current blessing I have of finally carrying my own little boy.

Olivia

9 comments:

  1. So glad that you are now pregnant with a healthy child.

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  2. I dont think anyone can quite understand what it is to appreciate the gift of life like a person who has lost a child or struggled to have a child. Yay for you!

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    1. I hear you on that. I think a lot of people take lots of things for granted.

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  3. Hi from ICLW! I'm very sorry for your loss and I'm sure this day is difficult for you, but I am sure that your current pregnancy is some comfort. I experienced the same thing last year, when I found out I was pregnant less than a month before my EDD with my loss. It definitely helped to have hope on that day!

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    1. Thanks, it is some comfort that I am pregnant now, but it still makes me sad for the LO I didn't know if that makes sense.

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  4. I'm a little late to comment but I hope this day was one of remembrance for the little one you lost as well as joy at the new life you carry. It's a delicate balance between the two.

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    1. Thanks, it was and is hard to balance the two, but time helps.

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  5. I know I'm several days late, but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry and I understand. I just passed the one year anniversary of my loss, too. Like you, I'm incredibly grateful to have been given another chance, but it still hurts. HUGS!

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