Bitter Infertiles and a slight change to Blogging Style

So if you have not listened to these fantastic ladies I highly recommend them.  They will make you laugh and cry.  They are really honest and they promote spreading the honest word of infertility.  They interview various people in the ALI community (Adoption, Loss, and Infertility) and I really think what they are trying to do is an awesome service to us all.

On their latest episode they got me thinking about my blog especially now that I am pregnant.  I have struggled a little with this internally, because I know some of you are still in the trenches, so to speak, and there is still so much I have to say in regards to this struggle of mine.  Anyways with that being said I plan to mix things up a bit and try to make this blog a 50/50 blog:  50 percent infertility and 50 percent pregnancy as I think both are important here.  If you are interested in what the Bitter infertiles had to say about all this I placed a link below:

http://bitterinfertiles.wordpress.com/2012/10/17/episode-8/

Now on to the meat of this post.

I had a FUN *sarcasm* conversation with my little sister a couple of weeks ago.  Now in a previous post I mentioned how I refused to tell my sister anything in regards to my infertility and miscarriage because she would intentionally use it to hurt me.

I guess I should put a few things out there before I go into the phone conversation.  My sister got married to a guy she knew for 1 month.  3 months later she announced she was pregnant.  This was one of the hardest days of my life.  The marriage lasted for 4 more months.  My sister had her baby and the father terminated his parental rights.  My sister then gave her baby up to a friend and terminated her parental rights.

Anyways she calls me to tell me that she needs my support to get her child back.  My sister lost her job and has been living out of a car.  She tells me that the lady is CRAZY that has her child.  You can imagine I am screaming in my head WHY for a million different reasons.  This lady has had my niece for about 9 months.  I am not sure if she is really crazy, but my sister is not sane either.  Anyways I argued that taking my niece out of the only family she has know would be detrimental and my sister was like she won't remember and then she said this:  YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND AS YOU DON'T HAVE KIDS!.  I was done.  I hung up on my sister and was fuming mad granted my sister doesn't know any better so there is no way that she could have known.

This led me crucial decision.  Do I tell my sister or not?  The answer was yes as she is unintentionally hurting me all the time.  I told her everything.  At first she was apologetic, but then everything turned back to her and how horrible her life is.  She has been supposedly selling herself and been on suicide watch for sometime.  I see pictures of my niece all the time as my sister is allowed to visit her.  She is healthy and well taken care of.  I don't know these people, but I pray that they are better for her than my sister would be.

Maybe I am horrible for thinking these things, but my sister's life has been full of destruction and I would prefer she not take my niece down with her.  Anyways I am sorry if this jumped a little, but my thoughts on this are quite muddled.

Hope everyone is doing well,

Olivia