One year

Yesterday marked one year since we started officially trying.  I had to go to a baby shower for a friend having her third.   She has no idea how hard it is to not be pregnant. I stayed for an hour but found myself completely overwhelmed when I was done.  She asked me how it was going and I just shook my head and then her husband responded well you have 2 blessings already.  I knew this but this isn't the reason I feel so down and I wanted to punch him in the face at that moment.  I hate that I do not have any control over what my body does.  I wish there was some way to get it to just do what I need.  I eat right, exercise,, take a million supplements, practice fertility yoga and still nothing.  I don't know what my plan is at the moment but I'm going to try and overcome the weight one year has brought and then move forward.  I feel incredibly alone.  I'm not without children but I still struggle and I don't know where that puts me.

Olivia