Hope and despair - the thin line

Once I found out I ovulated this cycle I felt myself in a strange place.  I am glad I ovulated but it brings hard emotions there is the knowing that this cycle has an end to it be it pregnancy (which I would prefer) or period.  So this leads to a number of thought processes.  The first being hope and the daydreaming of it new little one.  I imagine seeing the positive pregnancy test and how I will tell my husband.  I imagine there ultrasound telling me that boy only am I having a baby but I'm having twins (don't really know how I feel about that daydream but whatever).  But then the next thought peeks through and that is too stop getting my hopes up.  Stop thinking about it at all because I know how this cycle will end... I know this is not a positive line of thinking but I feel it is protecting me and I keep hoping it will keep me from feeling too sad.  Then I feel guilty because I should just be happy with where I am.  Ugh I dread next week but soon I will know.

Olivia