Well that was weird!

I feel a desire to write and considering my story is not yet complete I figure I could vent or keep record here.  I know awhile ago I said I was going private but life has changed, my feelings have changed and I figure it doesn't really matter.  I don't really care if people are reading this or not and if someone comes across it and it helps them well that is all for the better. 

When I left here my little man was about 6 months old.  He just turned 3 and so much has happened in our little world.  About when he was 8 months I felt the most intense desire to have a second baby but I knew from our experience that it probably wouldn't happen.  You see after I had my son I swore we wouldn't do treatments again.  It was too much for me and I didn't want to put C (my son) through that.  I was trying to come to terms with having an only child. Then at 9 months postpartum AF returned or started.  I was still breastfeeding and was quite surprised because I never really expected it to come at all.  My previous issues had to do with being anovulatory and I don't think I ever had a cycle start on its own.

I was excited to think maybe things could work out naturally and then I remembered that my husband still had issues.  I mean they seemed to fluctuate but still sometimes things were rough on that end.  That next cycle was 38 days long but still a good chance maybe things would normalize.  I started charting and timing intercourse and started to prepare myself for the inevitable failure.  I finally ovulated on CD 34 and realized the day AF would show up would be mother's day that year.  I was so depressed because there was no way I could get pregnant naturally so why would I even try.  Luckily I had my son's first birthday to take my mind off things.  I was still charting just for data.  We had planned his birthday the day before mother's day so that weekend was crazy busy.  My temps were still high on his birthday and mother's day.  I tried to find alternative explanations because I found it impossible that I could get pregnant naturally, but a few days later I finally tested and it was POSITIVE!  I could not believe it.  My second son W was born at the beginning of 2015 and he was an amazing miracle.

So why am I writing well we are looking to have one more and maybe it will be easy but miracles don't really happen that often and while I do have cycles they are extremely irregular.  I know that I am super lucky to have the 2 I do and if this doesn't pan out well that is fine, but I just don't feel our family is complete so I am going to document the result.  I am trying natural ways to regulate my cycles and see what happens.  This is mostly for me, but if you want to read feel free.  I just really want to write this all down.

Olivia